The picture really doesn’t have much to do with the post…

 

I know quite a few people who have good reason to have a healthy cry now and then.  The reasons vary and are of no importance to this post.  

What I’ve begun to notice is that they don’t cry always when I expect them to.

They seem to be moved by moments of great beauty.  A song.  A poem.  A sunrise.  A painting. The end of a day of family being together.  Then they cry because they are happy.

Reminds me of a quote I saw somewhere…  “Sadness is happiness for deep people.”

Just what is on my mind today.  I hope your day is what you want it to be.

peace and smiles.  ~M

forgiveness

I think the hardest thing isn’t always forgiving others.  

To me, it is forgiving yourself.

It is hard to move past a mistake that you know you shouldn’t have made due to impatience or ignorance or whatever.  But you try and eventually it fades into the distance and as long as you don’t look back too often, you can learn to live with those pesky mistakes.

 

that is all for today

peace and love

M

bugs need homes, too…

So this is how you make a bug house.  Not the only kind of bug house and certainly not the best bug house, but a great bug house that your nephew calls a bird house and eventually you call it one, too, just because he finally wore you down.  So you walk around your yard aimlessly collecting things that very well may work while creating an insect paradise.  Your yard is cleaner and your husband points out that you found really cool stuff to take to your sister’s house for them to have a bug hotel.  You ignore the husband and take the awesome stuff that you are secretly jealous that your sister gets to have and put it in your car.  When you get to the sister’s house, you pile the stuff on the carport and get to work while the nephew (who is supposed to be helping) plays in the rain.

I saw that they had straw so I bundled some up and put it in a little yellow pot that I spray painted that happy color of yellow this past summer.  I added some bricks and the cool little box for the flower pots to sit on top of.  Earlier in the day, I had my dad drill holes in the metal desk drawer that is the frame of our happy little buggy house and also in the wood that I was going to use because that is  how the little critters get into their new deluxe desk drawer house and then make cozy homes.  No holes = no home.  Remember this people – it is super important.

Then I taught the boy to jump in mud puddles while we picked up pine cones and pine needles for the other flower pot.  I don’t know what kind of bugs like to live in them, but I was certain that some sort of insect would be happy, warm, and dry down in there so I went with it.

We then helped the princess fix her crown.

k.  All better now.  Pretty girl was tired, but was a trooper while we worked and talked and played.

Since a bug house just isn’t a bug house until it can be a home to ladybugs, we added a bundle of bamboo that I heisted from the house a few doors down.  There is also some decomposing stump wood in there just because.

Now – tilt your head to the right.  This is one way that I could have left the house.  I felt that it looked empty and I had a lot of stuff left, so I took it apart and watched J play in the water while I talked to his mom.  

 

You have to stop and appreciate the little things while working on a project like this or the memories aren’t nearly as great.  My hubs says, “He looks like a bent and bowed old man there holdin’ that crooked stick.”  He kinda does I suppose.

Almost finished, but not quite – I felt like it all sat too far back in.

I added more bricks and bamboo and was pretty happy with the finished product.  Sister dear was overjoyed and that is really all that matters.

Then we watched J play in the rain a little while longer.  It’s fun to watch little people discover new things about life.  He is very enthusiastic about it which makes it even more fun to watch happen.

 

We had to add the frog full of moss because what insect house doesn’t need a red frog full of moss, right?

 

Then we (mama) decided that little J needed a bath and then bedtime.

All in all – it was a great day rain and all.  It’s all about making the memories, folks.  Don’t forget.

 

peace and smiles to you and yours.  ~M

I guess we could call this a pity party…

So I go through these phases where I just don’t have much to say.  I’ve been wondering why and only come up with this:  when I’m struggling or when things aren’t going so well, I’m not outwardly focused.  The thought of having a conversation – even with people who love me – it just seems impossible.  The thought of trying to explain why I feel that way – well, that seems impossible too.  

Then I think about the name of this here bloggy.  A time to laugh.  We humans are not always called to laughter.  Sometimes it is tears and sometimes it is just making it through today and then tomorrow and then the next day and before you realize it, you’re laughing again.  

I’ve come to realize that I’m tired.  I’m tired of the constant everyday struggle that I’ve been waging for a couple of years now.  Doing what I know is the right thing to do for myself and my husband and not having enough time, money, energy, etc to laugh at the end of the day.  I really want to laugh, people, and smile and talk to my family on the phone and get out and about and visit the nieces and nephews.

And I’m close.  One month and seven days close.  If it doesn’t kill me – I know it’ll make me stronger, right?  But really – I just want to laugh.  It feels good and it makes me happy.

ok – so that’s why the silence.  

peace and love to you and yours,

M

love

 

I love her.  Tons and tons.  

just a pic today :)

What I Really Want to Say

I had a conversation via email today that really has me upset.  Mainly because the person that I thought I had a personal, working relationship with was abrupt, terse, and rude.  This is what I want to say to that person:

I communicate daily with people in which I guard my tongue and my words so as to maintain open and honest communication and relationship.  I try very hard to think about how my words and actions are going to affect every person that I interact with – especially in my business relationships.  Where things are grey, I try even harder to maintain integrity and maturity.  I have a business relationship with you, but I also have a personal relationship with you based on the nature of the “business”.   You did not communicate with me in this manner.  You were rude, abrupt, overly formal, and as un-business like as you could possibly be.  You are no more important than me or any other living, breathing human on this planet.  We are called to respect each other – to hold no one or ourselves higher or less accountable than others.  We are called to love above all – especially since our “business” is teaching and guiding others in the way of Love.  Your email to me was not loving.  It was not kind and it was not respectful.  For now, you have lost my participation in your events because your attitude stinks.  I would dismiss a five year old from their lesson in my teaching studio (unrelated example) for such rude behavior.  Love keeps no record of wrongs.  Yet you have kept a record of wrongs unrelated to me and  my leadership and then based your present relationship with me upon those wrongs.  This is unacceptable.  I refuse to interact with you on this level.

Said person won’t see this and I’m working on forgiveness.  I will let this go and get over it.  I will focus on love and respect in my communication and relationships.  I will, as my mother always used to tell my sisters and I, be the bigger baby.

just thinking as I type

A quick thought:

Maybe I should focus more on loving people AS they are and not for WHO they are.

If I love people as they are, I am only a prisoner of my own criticism and judgement if I choose to be critical and judge.  If I can overcome myself enough to just love a person just as they are – this creates boundaries.  Boundaries are good.  This means to me that I do not have to accept less than stellar behavior – I do not have to be drawn into unnecessary drama – I do not have to approve of decisions that others make – I only have to extend extraordinary love whether I am loved in return or not.  The point is the loving of others – not receiving love in return.

If I love people for who they are – well, that is harder.  I believe that we are all here to do the same thing:  helping to heal a broken world by following the footsteps of Jesus into the darker places of life.   Some of us, though, are victims of others or ourselves.  We get caught up in the non-essentials of life and end up mired down in our own egos.  If I try to love someone for who they are – right now in my life this means that I have to accept and approve of things that I would never otherwise accept and approve.  I can love the same person AS they are and omit myself from the drama.

Sometimes when we love people as they are we must do it from a distance – sometimes, though, that means we have to be hands-on with people.  Each case is different, I think, as each person is a very unique creation.

All I know is that when I try very hard to love people as they are (with no regard for myself) I begin to see people in a different way.  This is not a way to excuse behavior, but to love others simply because God created them to be beautiful.  The boundaries are what keep me from being bogged down and discouraged.  It is a choice that must be made by the person doing the loving.  Sometimes it is hard to separate from the drama and the other stuff that comes along with being human, but it is worth it – to pull yourself above the trees to see the whole forest.  It is a wonderful, refreshing view.

have a great weekend ❤

M

I’ve Been Making Things

So I am still posting for my dad.  If you want to read my random thoughts, go here.  www.jimfields.wordpress.com

I like to keep my hands busy while watching movies with the husband or listening to him play his guitar or while we’re talking.  Here are some of the things that my busy hands have made…

 

 

 

 

 

Have a happy day and don’t forget to swing by my dad’s site if you want to read some words instead of look at pictures!

Smiles, M

 

Anniversaries, Love, and the Hard Stuff

I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately.  I guess because mine and the Lovin’ Husband’s 10 year mark is coming up soon.  I’ve been thinking about love and what it means and what it should mean – sometimes what it did mean and doesn’t anymore (not in a good or bad way – just an observation) and sometimes what it should or could mean.  Love is a tricky thing.  We fall  in love and feel all gooey and romantic inside, but there comes a point where your love becomes a partnership.  Sure there is still gooey-ness and all that stuff, but the point that I’m talking about is when you get to the Hard Stuff.

The Hard Stuff (as in difficulties that couples come upon) is exactly that.  Hard.  I think it’s hard because that isn’t WHY we join together for life.  We don’t fall in love with peoples’ faults.  We don’t commit to a life together anticipating problems, misunderstandings, and hard times.  We commit to a life together based on things that we like about each other – things that compliment our own selves and things that we find attractive (not just physical appearance) about one another.

We say in our vows and our promises that we will stay together through thick and thin, sickness and health, good and bad, rich and poor.  We say those things with the sparkle of love in our eyes and the conviction that together nothing can get us down.  The truth is:  all kind of things get us down.  Some things we have no control over – others we do.  Things we expected and things we didn’t.  It is these times that define your partnership with another person – whether you give in or keep going.  The Hard Stuff is what makes the Good Stuff so dang good.   That is what I’m trying to say.  In marriage, in life – in all things, really.

I’ve heard it said that love is a verb.  To me, that means that love often takes work.  Sometimes it needs a tune up or a reboot.  Sometimes it needs a reality check.  Sometimes, though, we need to remember that nobody ever promised that Love would be easy.  I am beginning to see that True Love is a seedling inside of our souls that needs pruning, nourishment, and care to keep growing.  True Love has deep roots that hold on tight in the storms – I’m convinced that it is the storms that keep people together – you almost always come out stronger in the end.

True love isn’t sparkly and new.  It isn’t self serving and it isn’t a problem-free environment.  Someone told my husband and I once, “Love is sometimes 50/50.  Sometimes its 70/30.  Sometimes its 30/70.  It’s never always a 50/50 partnership.”  It was some of the best advice I’ve ever received in my life.

 

This is from 2008.  My hair isn’t blonde – his isn’t long.  Our smiles are the same though – just have more experience behind them now.